Maybe this is my version of therapy

Every time my period is about to come, I suddenly get this strong urge to deep clean the whole house. Not just normal cleaning, but the kind where I want to clean every dusty little corner, change the bedding, wipe everything slowly, reorganize tiny spaces nobody even notices.

It’s kinda like the nesting phase before I gave birth. But honestly, I’ve been like this long before pregnancy too. Even back when I was a teenager, I would suddenly get the urge to clean deeply whenever my emotions felt heavier. It somehow became a habit that grew up with me.

Pregnancy just made me understand that feeling differently. I remember cleaning slowly while heavily pregnant, folding tiny baby clothes and preparing little corners of the house with so much love. Now whenever the feeling comes back, it reminds me of that version of myself again somehow.

I also realized cleaning became my way of handling my period mood swings. Instead of letting myself feel too overwhelmed or angry at everything, I channel all that energy into scrubbing, folding, organizing, and making the house feel good again. And it works every time.
After cleaning, I always walk back to the same places just to stare at them for a while before life gets messy again. The clean kitchen counter. The cozy couch. The fresh bedsheets. Those moments make me feel strangely peaceful.

One of my favorite parts is seeing my husband and my daughter enjoying the clean cozy space after I’m done. Hearing little footsteps on freshly mopped floors. Watching my baby roll around happily on fresh bedding.

But the glitteriest part of all is this. Now that my daughter can talk, she keeps coming to me saying, “thank you mummy” again and again and again. 
And I don't think she understands it yet, but every "thank you, mummy" makes me feel happy again. Sometimes she says it for the smallest things. And somehow those tiny little thank yous feel bigger than everything else.

The house will get messy again tomorrow anyway. Toys everywhere. Crumbs on the floor. Laundry piling up again. But that's okay, I can clean up again tomorrow.

For now, that little glitter is enough for me.

d.g✨